Declination
“Why…”
It was a soft whisper. The sad voice of a woman, somewhere in the void. A sound so distant, yet so close it made me wake up.
My eyes took a minute to focus while I kept them open, trying to understand where I am. I was lying on my back, probably on the floor since it was too rough and cold to be anything else. I tried to move but my arms and legs too, did not listen. It felt as if my mind was the only movable object. I started panicking and tried to ask for help, but my mouth was dry and nothing came out it. I was terrified.
My eyes finally focused and I could see the ceiling. It was dark but I noticed that it was made from stone. It had a weird pattern that reminded me of something that I’d seen in videogames. Wait… what are videogames? I couldn’t remember what the word I just said meant, so I decided not to worry about it for now. My hands and legs were finally able to move. I changed my position slowly, leaning on my left arm and in due time I was sitting down. My head felt heavy and my whole body was sore. I had no idea where I was or who I was. I remembered nothing.
I looked around and found out that I was in a small shack made out of stone. The place was a bit dusty and some places were even covered in, what I hope, was mud. The window was practically a hole in the wall and the same goes for the door. I looked behind me and found some hay. Maybe I was supposed to be laying on it. Across the small room was a small sink made of wood and stone. I pushed the wooden lever downwards with as much force as I could muster and water started pouring. The water was cold and refreshing, so I drunk my fill.
“Ah, you’re finally awake?!”, I heard a voice coming from where the door is. Even though it was dark outside, the light from the moon made a big contrast with the inside of the shack and so I couldn’t see her face.
“We thought you were dead at first. Thankfully, your heart was beating so we were sure that you are going to wake sooner or later”, she continued.
I stood up carefully and walked closer to her to see her face. I thought that maybe I would remember at least something, but I was wrong. Her face, even though it was cute, made me realize that I have no idea who she is.
“Who are you? Where are we? Who…”
“I don’t know…”, she cut me off. “I woke up about an hour ago along with that guy over there”, she pointed her finger outside.
A guy, probably the same age as me, stood near a lake. He was looking at the moon, as if basking in its light.
“He also doesn’t remember anything… You think we got abducted?”, she asked me with a smile that felt fake. In her eyes I could see only fear, but she was making such a big effort to hide it, that I knew I had to calm her down.
“Don’t worry, I am sure this whole situation can be explained easily. We just need to wait for…”. I stopped. I was hearing a strange noise coming from afar. It felt as if something was coming and it was not alone.
“Riders!”, the guy screamed. He was already running towards us, which meant that he already heard or probably saw something, so it probably came from the direction he was looking at. He didn’t take too long to come near us.
“Riders… we need to hide”. The guy said. He was clearly in panic, but tried his best to stay calm and collected.
“I don’t think it is a good idea to hide, it will only cause us more trouble, let’s ask them for help”. I said and looked at the girl for approval.
“Are you an actual idiot? You have no idea who you are, right? Neither do we. We could be criminals for all we know… If they catch us here, we will be done for. We need to hide and collect as much information as possible, before doing anything rash. Maybe we will even remember something…”
What he said, kind of made sense. Even though it felt wrong, I decided not to argue as the sound became louder and louder. You could already hear the horses and their every step that echoes throughout the area clearly.
“Let’s run behind the shack, for now. From there we will see what’s up and act accordingly”. I said as I grabbed the girl’s hand, who was clearly extremely scared. My attempt to pull her with me failed as she froze still.
“What are you doing? Run!” the guys screamed.
“No! I am scared! I am scared”. The girl fell on her knees, as if her legs gave out and covered her face with her hands.
“We don’t have time for this”. The boy said as he lifted her up on his shoulder as if she was a sack full of vegetables.
We ran behind the shack and saw a big slope. Somewhere far away was a small village but it was barely noticeable. We rushed down the slope.
The slope was obtuse and the angle was so weird that the momentum made me feel as if I was flying. My feet were barely touching the ground and the more speed I gained, the more impossible it became to control my feet.
The guy with the girl on his shoulder was running just behind me. I could hear his heavy breathing and the noises he made as he tried to outmaneuver some stones and balance the girl on him at the same time. The girl herself made no sound. Either from being scared or from the fact that someone had her taken by force, she just gave up and lied in total silence.
We arrived at the end of the slope and ran straight for the village across the empty field. The grass was tall but not tall enough to cover us so we kept running.
“We need some place to hide. We won’t be able to outrun the horses on this field if they see us from up there”, I said as I turned around to see what happened to my companions. The girl was lying on the ground, still, while the guy was breathing heavily as if gasping for air with his hands on his knees. I immediately understood that he was too tired to run, so I went closer and grabbed the girl myself.
“No, stop, I can run myself… I just don’t want to!”, she screamed as her eyes started tearing up again.
“Please, don’t let this guy’s efforts go to waste, he carried you here, now we just need to run. We don’t know what will happen if they catch us…aren’t you afraid?”, I tried to change her mind.
“I am afraid! But there is no point in running from them. There is nowhere to go. Even if we make it to the village, what then? They will find us anyway. We don’t have money, or food, or water. We are doomed!”. She started crying again. “If you want to go… just go… I don’t want to run, I am scared!”.
Her words silenced me completely. All the things I was about to say, disappeared and my heart felt numb, cold. Her words froze my heart, my soul, my body. Now there was no panic, no hope, no fear. Only emptiness.
I looked at the guy to see his reaction, but there was nothing to see. His face was blank. He feels the same way.
He sat down and wiped the sweat from his face. His right hand was shaking. Was it out of fear? Did the realization that out efforts to run away were futile scare him even more? He grabbed his shoulder with his other hand and started massaging it. It felt as if he was trying to hide the shakiness, or mask it by making the excuse of muscle soreness and exhaustion.
In that situation I knew there was nothing we could do. Nothing, unless we played it smart. I am definitely no hero, rather the contrary, but I couldn’t help but notice that these two were even more scared than I was. I had to do something.
“Alright. We won’t be able to outrun them anyway, but I have a proposal… I want you both to go forward and try to hide just outside the village. If everything turns out fine, I will tell them where you are and we will come to pick you up. But, if I don’t return until tomorrow, with or without them, then assume the worst and hide… even better, run”.
“What… are you an idiot? You are willing to sacrifice yourself just like that?” the guy said as he looked at me with his blank face.
“I am no idiot. This is actually the smartest thing we can do”.
“They will torture you, probably”.
“I will bite off my tongue before they have the chance”.
“Hah, coward. Just fight and die in battle”.
“Right, thanks for the advice, mister smartass!”
“The fuck you just said?”
The conversation went nowhere and we started hearing the horses again. We both went silent and looked at each other with a face that said a million words better that any mouth could. “We stick to the plan. Good luck”, I said and immediately ran towards the shack.
Going upwards felt even more exhausting. My feet felt heavy and my whole body was in pain. My lungs could barely provide me with enough oxygen and it almost felt as if I was going to suffocate before I reach the top. As I made my way up, I heard the horses, how they arrived, how they stopped and how the riders stood up from them to investigate the area and the shack. A lot of voices were heard. They were looking for us and they were clearly in panic. I could hear them running around in their metallic armor. I stopped on the spot to try and make out what they were saying, but my heavy breathing was in the way. I tried to calm myself down and breathe slowly, which made me more lightheaded. At the end, I decided to move on before the riders have the chance to step behind the shack and see my two companions in the open field. I turned around to see my companions for one last time and I indeed saw their figures, slowly but steadily creeping through the darkness, marching towards the village that was even harder to see now, as the moon was slowly being covered by a big cloud.
As I reached the shack and was about to turn the corner to meet the riders, I bumped into one of them as he also made the turn. I made it in time.
“Oh, hello there, mister. How may I be of help?”, I decided to play it dumb. The face of the rider turned pale white and he fell on one knee, with his head turned towards the ground. He looked like he was a bit older than me, but still young enough to be considered a teenager. He had his helmet on, which made his hair lay down onto his face, almost covering his eyes. He had his sword sheathed and laying to his side.
“Pardon me, Hero, I didn't mean to hurt you!”, the rider almost shouted.
“Par… what?” I stood in awe. Never in my life would I even imagine that someone would kneel to me, especially in this situation. All of this felt like a big farce.
“My lord, we found one of the heroes”, some other rider shouted.
“One? Is he hurt? Where are the others?”, an older man got out of the shack and looked at me. He had long gray hair tied behind his head and a big moustache that almost comically stood firm and reached further than his ears. He wore clothes of a very beautiful fabric and he had a golden crest on his chest with a big silver octopus on it. To my understanding he was somewhat of an important person, one that had the right to boss around the other riders. He had no weapons on him, just a big leather bag hanging around his waist. “My dear Hero, it is a pleasure to finally meet you. Pardon my rudeness but before taking care of you and your needs I must ask… Where are the others?”. He flicked his fingers and all the riders gathered right beside him, some even getting on top of their horses to cover the distance faster. He looked like he was in panic. It really felt like he was worried about us. Almost like a father worries about his children.
I immediately understood that these people meant no harm, so I told them everything.
“Well, I suppose it can’t be helped… I have only myself to blame for not arriving sooner. Let’s find the others, I will explain everything once you are all gathered”, he said as he sighed and sat on his horse. Another rider helped me sit with him and we marched down the road towards the small village where we would find my two companions.
“Please, allow me to introduce myself, my Hero. I am Lunderwell Forg, a knight of the kingdom of Valencia. It is my honor to serve you”.
The knight was sitting right behind me so that I wouldn't fall. He held the ropes tight and commanded the horse with ease. I was impressed with how professional he looked and acted. Surely these men had the experience of many battles. They felt as if they were carved dolls, made from the finest materials possible. Their manners, every single movement of theirs gave off a feeling of superiority. It almost made me rethink my actions so far and how childish I acted. Even though I was only trying to protect myself and my small group, even though I didn’t understand what was happening and even though I had limited time to think, I still made a whole mess and troubled these people more than enough. I felt childish and guilty.
“I don’t know my own name, I am sorry for this. And I am also sorry for causing all this trouble, I feel really bad for this”.
“No, please, Hero, do not feel this way. It is us to blame, for had we not been held up by bandits on our way here, we would make it in time. We should have split our group immediately and focused on our main objective instead of trying to overpower the bandits with our numbers”.
“Bandits? They attacked you even though they knew you were knights?”
“Yes, Hero. Since the Dark Lord started gaining power through the veil and amust a big army, we have been attacked mercilessly every day. We had no problem fighting off his forces, but soon we found ourselves outnumbered. Many bandits now are in his service and they attack in small groups, trying to cause as much damage to the kingdom as possible, even when they know of their certain death”.
Forg’s words made my heart skip a beat. Bandits were lurking around in the darkness and yet me and my companions ran into it, without thinking. I found myself glad that I was the one to meet the knights in the end, as it made me more secure. Hah, coward. The words echoed through my head. These were the words of my companion from before. The guy sure did act high and mighty for someone who panicked before anyone else did and started planting weird thoughts in our heads.
Are you blaming others now? A voice in my head. This time it was not his. It was a girl’s voice. Distant, cold yet sharp enough to make me feel as if I had a hole in my chest. “No, only I am to blame for my actions”, I thought to myself.
I wanted to ask the knight more questions, but was too tired to open my mouth. The galloping of the horse shook me right and left and soon I felt as if I was in a rocking cradle. The wind blew in my face, which made me close my eyes. Now it was hard to open them again. Forg must have noticed that I was too tired to continue a conversation and so he stayed silent.
Soon, as we came closer to the village, we started hearing voices.
“Don’t come close! I will fight you”.
It was that stupid guy. He sounded scared and weak. Not like I was strong or anything, but he couldn’t even hide the fact that he was already too scared to even run. I felt relief, as if the worst was history. Nothing bad happened and this fact made me relax.
“Hero, please! We mean no harm! We only came here to retrieve you to safety! If you allow us to take you to the kingdom, we will explain everything and set your minds at ease.”
It was the older guy’s voice. This time he talked slowly, with compassion. He was calm and collected, yet serious.
As my companions were seated on the horses along with their knights, my body became heavier. Suddenly my eyes started closing uncontrollably. I felt my body leaning on the knight. My back was cold at first, but soon it became warm, and as it did, I felt myself losing control over my senses. I saw the darkness enveloping me, as if hugging me tightly and soon I fell unconscious.
The darkness did not stay for long. Soon I started seeing colors. At first blue, then green, then yellow and lastly red. I was dreaming.
In my dream I saw an image of a girl not older than me. She was tall and slim, and even though she was young, her hair was white and her eyes were glowing red. The more I looked at her, the more I was aroused by her beauty. She wore a red cape and black armor. She had a metal headpiece that covered her forehead, red, glowing just like her eyes. She looked at me with a poker face and I almost felt like she hated me.
“Who are you?” I asked. Her facial expression did not change. She stayed silent as she continued to look at me in the eyes. It almost made me uncomfortable and I looked away for a moment, only to have my head forced in the same position it was in. Now her face was so close to mine that our noses almost touched. She was holding my chin and the sensation burned. Her eyes made me scared and I closed mine.
“Why don’t you accept me?”, she asked. Her voice echoed through my head and it almost felt like there were a million people all around me, all asking the same question. I stayed silent.
“You are nothing without me… You will soon come to realize that. You will give yourself to me, as I am giving myself to you. Sooner or later you will be mine”.
Her words, again, echoed through my head. I felt as if I was being suffocated and closed my eyes again.
“No! Go away!”, I screamed.
“Hah, coward”. She replied.
The words of that guy. Am I really a coward?
My mind went blank again. The burning sensation on my chin vanished and I almost felt a relief.
“Coward…”
It was her. A whisper so silent, it almost felt like it was being lost in the distance. It was soft, sad. A sound so distant, yet so close it made me wake up.
